Heartbreaking Bravery

A Quick Hit, A Long Pull, A Pre-Emptive Goodbye

At some point over the next few months, Heartbreaking Bravery will cease the bulk of its editorial aspect. A lot of thought went into this decision and the scant posting of the past few years likely reflected this was on the near-horizon. While I still firmly believe in the mission of this site (to provide a space that elevated smaller artist’s work to a point of focus typically reserved for acts with deeper pockets), the work simply became too much at various points. While it’s easy to make blanket generalizations like “it was getting to be too much”, I wanted to show the proof of the extent of that work.

Over a year ago, the Heartbreaking Bravery twitter account started running a series called A Quick Hit that promoted work that wouldn’t necessarily have received a standalone feature on the site but still deserved to be highlighted. In effect, this was to not just cut down on the time spent sculpting the feature pieces but to allow them to breathe more fully while giving a more focused platform to the separated selections. While the time spent on curating and promoting remained roughly the same, at some point I realized the best way to reflect the breadth of what that entailed was to make a comprehensive compilation of the songs I liked — and possibly even loved — that, for one reason or another, weren’t selected as features.

So, at the end of November 2018, I decided to start making that list. I continued adding to that collection up through the final week of 2019. There were several points throughout that process that I set a small parameter, tracking the number submissions I received or considered versus the overall selections I liked. On six separate occasions, what I liked never accounted for more than 17% or less than 12%. Through that exercise I realized how much time I was spending on things that I either actively disliked or struck me as uninteresting. While the sheer thrill of discovering unexpected gems buried in the rough still makes rifling through an excess of mediocrity worthwhile, the toll that takes can be surprisingly taxing (to this point, the list of links below is slightly under 1/10th of what I listened to in 2019).

On average, I receive upwards of 1,000 emails a week. Some get deleted on sight but the vast majority of them received a click-through and the requisite amount of attention. At some point, the time spent entertaining the options nearly quadrupled the time I was spending covering the music and videos I would’ve liked to have given even more attention. In addition to the daily email routine, I had a list of sites I would try to check on daily: Stereogum, Post-Trash, The Grey Estates, Impose, Various Small Flames, GoldFlakePaint, dimestore saints, Gimme Tinnitus, Brooklyn Vegan, and Noisey, were all part of those ranks, among others. I’d also keep an eye out for recommendations from friends or touring bands and I’d habitually add labels to the accounts I’d follow on Soundcloud, which I’d also check daily.

I would do my best to keep track of the hundreds upon hundreds of channels I subscribed to on YouTube and, whenever possible, if I found a record I loved on bandcamp, I would look at the titles that artist had listed as further listening suggestions. Whenever a new band started generating buzz among the musicians and friends I trusted, I would look at their upcoming bills and scope out the acts listed I’d never heard, knowing that there was a decent chance I’d wind up walking away with a new artist to give a deeper look in the near-future. All of those habits created an enormous world that became next to impossible to traverse without losing ground on other aspects of my life; I had less time for my actual, paying work, my relationships, and my other hobbies.

In 2019, I did my best to start balancing out my completist tendencies when it came to Heartbreaking Bravery’s overall coverage with some other areas of my life that provided me with fulfillment and kept me in check both physically and mentally: I started skateboarding again, I completed a home studio and started making music on my own, I invested more time in my partner and her needs, and I made it a point to occasionally step out of my comfort zone. I became a full-time photographer, expanded the scope of my outside contributions, became more politically involved on behalf of causes that I believe would yield the most productive good, and dedicated a little more time to studying film and critical analysis. I will look to continue doing all of these things throughout 2020 in addition to seeking more avenues for collaboration.

Yet, in the midst of all of that change, I still focused an inordinate amount of time on Heartbreaking Bravery and the music and videos that had caught my ear. I couldn’t shake it entirely and learned that I may never be able to shake it entirely because I do still believe in what this place has always strived to accomplish. So, I leave this here as not just a testament to the work that’s required to make something like this hum when it’s just one person in control of every aspect of the operation but as a transparent resource for those who are considering starting something similar, which will always be needed.

Before I leave the list below (which may or may not break this site entirely), I’d like to leave a list of suggestions for anyone who is actively considering starting a blog that primarily functions as a way to fixate on smaller releases:

Be inclusive. Be careful. Do your research. Don’t feature abusers in any capacity. Credit the photographers of promo pics, whenever possible (even if it means sending an email, which is a length I rarely went to but would’ve liked to have done more). Promote ideologies that are empathy-based. Look for artists that don’t have PR but do have strong material; find them, promote them, and make them know their work has value. Champion independent voices, especially ones that are challenging the capitalistic overreach of the industry at large. Be kind. Listen to genuine criticism when it comes along and try to use it in a constructive manner but also defend what you believe in and don’t let criticism challenge your conviction on that point (but still give that criticism some consideration). Accept help, even if your pride has to take a hit in the process. Lift up your contemporaries and try to foster a sense of community over a sense of competition. Be kind to publicists and try your best to be responsive. Don’t let traffic or lack of interest dictate worth or value. Push for the art that speaks to you and make sure you’ve done your best to get it heard or seen. Be stubborn. Be persuasive. Evolve.

During the course of Heartbreaking Bravery’s now 5+ year run, I set a lot of arbitrary guidelines that I believed would make me a better writer. In some senses, those guidelines did help instill some very particular disciplines but they also allowed me an invisible wall that was always a little thrilling to break, which can be helpful as it gives a practice that could grow monotonous a new life. Here were a few: avoid first-hand narrative, avoid gender-specific terminology (“songwriter,” “bandleader,” “mastermind,” “multi-instrumentalist,” were all helpful terminologies in addition to “they”), disclose close personal connections, never over or under-value anyone based on anything outside of their art, use original visuals whenever possible, avoid being overly passive, and make sure to keep things fair in terms of representation. A few of those I will stand by and a few I will break and continue to break when appropriate (this entire post has essentially shattered the first person perspective rule of thumb) but they were rules of worth.

Another thing I avoided, though maybe more than I should have, was including outside exclusive features for this site’s standalone spots. I was always adamant in providing a direct route to art with as few steps as possible and still remain openly critical of exclusive premieres (which lend more to a sense of competition than a sense of community) but never properly honored a handful of releases I genuinely loved. To that end, I will make up for some of those oversights here by kicking this list off in earnest with a list of exclusive premieres I either liked or loved, before divvying the rest up between Soundcloud, bandcamp, and YouTube. Many of these will appear as links and as links only, as the amount of time it would take to properly tag these would be beyond exhausting. There may be doubles scattered here and there but, again, this was almost impossible to track from the jump. So, please: click to your heart’s content and leave this list with something new to love.