Heartbreaking Bravery

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Tag: i tried to run away when i was 6

2015: A Year’s Worth of Memories (Katie Bennett)

i tried to run away when i was 6

I first came across Katie Bennett a few years back thanks to her work as Free Cake for Every Creature. Since then, we’ve met in passing on a few different occasions at shows, usually stopping to make small talk. I’ve also been fortunate enough to see Bennett play in a separate project, i tried to run away when i was 6. Through everything I’ve seen, she’s displayed a quiet tenacity in the pursuit of simply making (and performing) music. An inspirational artist and an important voice in today’s musical landscape, Bennett turns her attention here to CE Schneider Topical’s “Dreams”, moving to Philadelphia, and more. Read the piece below and remember that there’s an untold level of value in the most common of struggles.

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Dreamin’ With CE Schneider Topical

For two weeks in June, I got up early and walked a mile and a half to the University of Pennsylvania medical center, where I participated in a pretty embarrassing study related to me being vegan. The study, along with money I’d saved substitute teaching throughout the school year, would help me finance the recording of my band’s first record and a two-week west coast tour.

By 7:30 on those June mornings, it was already eighty degrees and so muggy I sometimes felt like I was gasping for air. My ears sweat beneath my big headphones, and the sweat dripped down my neck and back. My thighs rubbed together below my black jean shorts and burned slightly from the friction. I was usually rushing, stinking, hungry, and, yep, carrying a small cooler containing a fresh stool sample.

Some of those morning walks, I thought of my partner, who had done the study a few months earlier. I thought of us: what were we doing? Maybe I’d let out a quick laugh, or imagine we were the stars of some crappy indie rom-com: “20-somethings doing weird things for money but happy and in love anyway.” Most of the time though, I felt kind of stupid about the whole thing, like maybe I should have just sucked it up and gotten a job, let go of my DIY pop dreams, and penguin-dived into suit-and-tie adulthood.

Halfway through the study, I downloaded CE Schneider Topical’s Look Who Showed Up Out Here and popped it on my iPod for my morning trek. I didn’t know what to expect, but, in continuing with the my-life-as-a-movie idea, everything seemed to stop around me as I listened to the first track “Dreams”, and a sparkling ray of hope, in the form of Christina Schneider’s lovely voice saturated in tape hiss, reached down from the bandcamp heavens to fill my spirit. I’d hadn’t realized how much I needed the song until I heard it.

If nobody wants to hear about your dreams
Just make sure they hear about them
You’re a lot of things,
“Worthless” isn’t one of them

-CE Schneider Topical, “Dreams”

My dream: to play music. “Dreams” helped me realize I was more than my empty pockets and sweaty pits; my music dreams were real and important, and I wouldn’t back down from them. Walking home from the medical center that morning, I blasted the song, already singing along to every word. I looked around the city, my new city of Philadelphia, and I felt like a champion, my future shining and expansive before me. I punched and kicked the air a couple times, nominating myself as the Rocky of DIY pop music.

-Katie Bennett

2015: A Visual Retrospective, Vol. 5

Johanna Warren I

Throughout the course of 2015 I’ve been fortunate enough to attend upwards of 100 shows, festivals big and small, and spend approximately half a year living in a city that hosted a mind-boggling amount of quality shows on a nightly basis. To that end, it’s probably unsurprising that I wound up taking over 10,000 photos this year alone. Over the course of the next few days, this site will be running seven volumes of the shots that stood out as personal favorites, whether that was due to their composition, sentimental attachment, or an intangible emotional or intellectual response. It’s been an honor to be able to take even the smallest part in the ongoing sagas of the artists in the photographs below and an additional thanks is due to the venues that allowed me to shoot (as well as the people who encouraged me to keep shooting).

Enjoy the gallery.

CMJ: Day 6 (Pictorial Review)

Diet Cig III

With this post, the site’s focus on CMJ will recede into the background and give way to music’s present release cycle (and some sporadic film coverage). Having covered every angle of the festival up to this point, the only thing left is the unveiling of the photos from the collaborative Father/Daughter and Miscreant showcase that served as the festival’s Homecoming-themed epilogue. The videos from that day can be seen here, the review can be read here, and the photo gallery can be viewed here.

 

Watch This: Vol. 100

Over the past 100 weeks, this site’s dedicated itself to a variety of pursuits but the defining one seems to be the only recurring series that operates on a regular basis: Watch This. Ever since the first installment, this series has featured the very best live performance captures. Utilizing a wealth of resources that range from band’s personal accounts to radio stations that host high-quality session captures, like KEXP in Seattle or 3voor12 in the Netherlands.

Very rarely has that gaze turned inward, despite producing over 300 live videos in the past four months. With this series now at a landmark number and all of the CMJ reviews accounted for, it seemed appropriate to bypass the outside sources to focus exclusively on the crop of videos that was taken over the past week. Approximately 50 bands, 90 videos, and 100 songs, these clips will be presented in groupings according to which day they were filmed. A few slip out of focus, some start a little late, and some cut off just before their ending, and a few bands are missing due to unfortunate and/or unforeseen circumstance (a dead battery, lighting, and a maxed out sd card were the three most prominent issues) but as a whole, it’s a comprehensive look at the kinds of performances the festival has to offer. So, as always, sit back, relax, ignore any worries, adjust the volume, focus up, and Watch This.

1. CMJ: Day 2

To make things just a touch easier, each of these introductory segments will simply be a very brief recap including a link to the respective day’s official review and the list of artists that appear in the video. Having spent the first official day of CMJ preparing for the rest of the week, the timeline’s off by a day but had this been the first official day, the festival would have kicked off with a band. Splitting time between The Cake Shop and Santos Party House, I managed to get videos of performances from the following artists: Worriers, Hooton Tennis Club, Car Seat Headrest, Seratones, Nico Yaryan, Yung, Shopping, Protomartyr, Downtown Boys, Perfect Pussy, and Dilly Dally. The official review of the day’s events can be found here.

2. CMJ: Day 3

Things kept moving along quickly on the second day, which included a long stretch at an early show over at Rough Trade before taking a brief pause to organize that show’s footage and prepare for the late show at Aviv. Between the two venues, the lineup was characteristically stacked and led to videos of performances from Shopping, Ezra Furman, Georgia, John Grant, What Moon Things, Mumblr, Meat Wave, Painted Zeros, Turn To Crime, and Yvette. The official review of the day’s shows can be found here.

3. CMJ: Day 4 

The festival’s exhausting nature started to creeping in on the third consecutive day of showgoing, though the deliriousness will always be worth the effort in the case of celebrating things like Exploding In Sound (who themselves were celebrating their fourth anniversary), Big Ups (who were celebrating their fifth year as a band), and Double Double Whammy. Once again splitting time between two venues– Palisades and The Silent Barn– I managed to get footage of performances from Leapling, Swings, Mal Devisa (backed by Swings), Dirty Dishes, Kal Marks, Washer, Stove, Palm, Greys, The Spirit of the Beehive, Big Ups, Palehound, Downies, Eskimeaux, and LVL UP. The official review of those events can be read here.

4. CMJ: Day 5

Easily the most exhausting of the five day stretch, the fifth official day of the festival found me completely ignoring food in favor of sprinting a mile to catch one of my favorite acts four times over. While a fraction of the day was spent running to and from an official CMJ showcase and the AdHoc Carwash (which was detached from the festival completely but boasted one of the week’s strongest lineups), the effort proved to be worthwhile, as a large collection of bands delivered knockout sets and everything culminated in a triumphant moment for one of my closest friends. In all the back-and-forth, I was still able to manage to capture performances from the following artists: Protomartyr, Potty Mouth, Pity Sex, Dilly Dally, LVL UP, Porches., Perfect Pussy, Meat Wave, Mothers, and Cloud Castle Lake. The review of that day of relative mania can be read here.

5. CMJ: Day 6

Despite the festival’s posted end date being the October 17, this collaborative showcase a day later between Father/Daughter and Miscreant was still billed as a part of the festival and felt like an appropriate epilogue; a summation of what’d come before and a fitting end-cap for a very strong run. Confined to just one venue, the sleep deprivation caused me to miss the first trio of acts (and quietly curse myself out for doing so in the process) but still show up in time for the final 10. On the final day of reckoning, I captured videos of performances from the following artists: i tried to run away when i was 6, Downies, Romp, Comfy, Vagabon, fern mayo, Bethlehem Steel, Diet Cig, Sports, and PWR BTTM. The official review of the festival’s final event can be read here.

CMJ: Day 6 Review

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Even though CMJ’s official schedule had been capped at October 17, the stacked collaborative showcase between Father/Daughter and Miscreant was still being rightfully billed as a CMJ event. It also turned out to be the day where my schedule finally caught up to me and caused me to sleep through multiple alarms before, for the third consecutive day, realizing I was in jeopardy of missing much more than I wanted to and booking it for the nearest venue or transit option. Getting approximately 16 hours of sleep over the course of five days occasionally has that effect.

By the time I made it to Palisades, Bad Cello, Nicholas Nicholas, and Hiccup had already wrapped their sets. Fortunately, the blow of missing those acts was at least somewhat alleviated by the bill’s remaining 10 acts. A few minutes into the event and a brief look around at a gaggle of audience and band members in formal wear also managed to act as a kind reminder that the event had been constructed with a Homecoming theme. free cake for every creature‘s Katie Bennett was on hand to augment a lovely set of folk-leaning bedroom pop songs from i tried to run away when i was 6. It was a gentle introduction to what would prove to be another ridiculously stacked day, even if it was only confined to one venue this time around.

Downies upped the energy and intensity considerably, once again taking a headlong dive into a set of gritty basement pop that’d feel right at home on Dirtnap. Ripping through songs from their outstanding debut EP and their forthcoming LP with an excess of energy, their set felt like a major statement from an emerging band that’s coming charging out of the gate on sure footing.

Some of their energy bled over into a strong outing for Romp, an upstart act hailing from New Brunswick who have a penchant for smartly crafted basement pop that’s sugar rush is matched with a punk tinge. Largely sticking to new and unreleased material, the quartet seemed to be in a state of perpetual motion, underscoring their own music’s immediacy. Catchy and substantial, it was a welcome addition to a lineup of mostly familiar faces.

A few of those familiar faces belonged to Comfy, who were fairly enjoyable back during Miscreant’s Northside showcase but clearly came to CMJ ready to make an impression. Showing noticeable improvements in every conceivable facet of their live show, the quartet was endlessly entertaining and fully committed to pouring themselves into their performance. The band played out of their minds, turning all of their songs into an emphatic series of blows.

The trio of Vagabon, Fern Mayo, and Bethlehem Steel handled the next three slots with an assured confidence. Vagabon, judging by the press that’s come out since the event, made a few influential friends thanks to a dynamic set that served their songs to a quiet perfection. While the band’s fuzzed-out passages did manage to hit hard, it was their gentler moments that actually managed to leave a lasting mark. Either way, no false moves and a few unique angles at this level is always going to pique a lot of people’s interest.

Fern Mayo’s been covered here multiple times before but, while all of those shows and songs were definitely memorable, it wasn’t until this set that the band registered as truly exceptional. Having just wrapped up a short tour, the band was in finer form than ever, playing off each other with a collected attitude that eventually transmuted into a subtle bravado that suited them well. Katie Capri, the band’s guitarist/vocalist, continues to transition into an excitable live wire onstage while bassist Nicholas Cummins continues to have one of Brooklyn DIY’s more arresting stage presences. Throw it all together with the learned traits of tour and it’s easy to see how the band wound up with another one of the day’s several standout sets.

Apart from delivering on their own, Fern Mayo also set up the (at least somewhat) similarly-minded Bethlehem Steel perfectly. After releasing a batch of promising records, the band’s on track to gain some traction with their forthcoming release, which is what they mostly drew from for their set. Stealthily sliding in some lighthearted banter between the songs, the trio clicked in their darkest, most pulverizing moments. By the time their set ended, their levels of conviction were as evident as the new material was promising.

Before too long, Diet Cig’s Alex Luciano and Noah Bowman were taking the stage to their entrance music, Taylor Swift’s inescapable “Shake It Off”, flailing around and encouraging their audience to do the same in an endearing communal act. Only a few minutes into that routine, Bowman was behind the kit and Luciano was bounding around the stage, anxious to get their set off the ground. Every time Diet Cig plays, they bring an infectious joy to the proceedings, completely shedding any inhibitions to simply live in the moment and coax as much out of it as humanly possible. When the band invited up a couple intent on recreating their wonderful “Scene Sick” video, everyone was all smiles and it was hard not to think of it as a somewhat definitive moment for the band, who kept that vibrant energy alive for the remainder of their set.

Feeding off the goodwill Diet Cig had built up during a set that had balloons and streamers flying in the air (and more than a few people laughing along with them), Sports took the stage to an almost deafening scream of applause. Balancing their set list between their previous records and their forthcoming All of Something (which is easily their best collection of songs to date), the band dug their heels in and took off at a sprint without ever bothering to look back. With the audience continuing to grow in size throughout Sports’ set, Palisades was packed for the evening’s headliner: PWR BTTM.

At this point, I have seen PWR BTTM more times than any other band in New York and they continue to find ways to improve their live show, which might still be their biggest selling point (despite 2015 highlight Ugly Cherries). Making this particular night extra sweet was the fact that it was Benjamin Hopkins’ birthday, a declaration that Hopkins made more explicitly at the start of their set, which was greeted with screams of approval.

Somewhere along the line, PWR BTTM became a band that everyone unified behind, each bringing varying reasons to their dedication. Their live show, their ideology, their message, their presentation, their banter… it’s become a pick-your-poison with the duo (now sometimes trio, thanks to the assists from Fern Mayo’s Cummins) and they always deliver in full. There were times during their set where the crowd’s vocals would override those of Hopkins or Liv Bruce, who occasionally takes over on lead vocal and guitar.

Everything was going as well as it possibly could for the band, who had rallied the now fully energized crowd into a swarming mass of dancing bodies, everyone fully immersed in the band’s music. Their momentum didn’t even falter when the band got stopped towards the end of their set by Jeanette Wall and Jessi Frick (the people that run Miscreant and Father/Daughter, respectively) for the coronation ceremony.

After sashes and other assorted items had been bestowed to both members of Diet Cig, Miscreant artist Elizabeth Scafuto, and one was basically just dedicated to Fern Mayo’s Capri, Bruce and Hopkins set back to work. Whether using a balloon to mime being pregnant, talking about playing into the “Hot Mom” look, ripping off a string of solos or vocal runs, or even just commanding attention without ever losing their natural cadence, PWR BTTM kept their crowd entertained.

The band even came within a minute of making through a show without any glaring technical difficulties (Hopkins’ cable got briefly pulled out towards the end of their final song- but it’s just not a PWR BTTM show without that kind of mishap) before leaving the audience screaming for an encore that never came, all but guaranteeing a large portion of that audience will be checking their calendars to make sure they can catch the next show. Then, after a near-sleepless week, 62 sets stretched across seven venues, CMJ was over and it was time to head back home, exhausted and content.

Tenement – Tenement (EP Stream, Review)

Tenement II

Between the end of last week and the start of this one, this site hasn’t ran a lot of material. A lot of this is due to some upcoming live coverage and the editing that live coverage entails. As is always the case, though, an eye was kept on the emerging content and everything that registered as great was compiled into a list for future reference. Of those lists, the full streams may have been the most stacked, featuring no less than three year-end contenders, including Tenement, this post’s featured EP. For full-lengths, it’d be hard to do much better than the staggering 1-2 punch of the full-length debuts from site favorites All Dogs (Kicking Every Day) and Dogs On Acid (Dogs On Acid) though that didn’t detract from the great new records that started streaming from Frog Eyes, Willis Earl Beal, Fake Palms, i tried to run away when i was 6, Sea Lion, and Tamaryn. Then, of course, there was the re-release of the extremely limited run self-titled tour tape that was released earlier this year by a band that played a crucial role in the development of this site’s functionality, aim, and preference: Tenement.

Following a pattern that emerged around the time Napalm Dream was released, the band’s been ushering in new music with an impressive recklessness. While this time around the band opted to release a behemoth of a double album in Predatory Headlights, rather than opting for the individual split as they did with Napalm Dream and The Blind Wink, they’ve still got material to spare. After kicking this year off with their outstanding early career compilation Bruised Music, Volume 1 (a collection I had the distinct privilege of contributing a piece to for the zine insert that served as the record’s liner notes), they’re restlessly pushing forward with an appropriately ragged five-song collection that they recorded back in February. As mentioned earlier, the tape was held to a run of between 50-60 copies and only made available for their tour with Priests and Vacation.

Tenement’s always been characterized by their steadfast adherence to a DIY ethos but that aspect of their identity has never been so fully reflected by any of their releases than it is here, which is likely why the band opted to make it a self-titled. As the collection plays out, there’s a very real sense that these songs were crafted in a manner where the band felt unburdened by any lingering expectations. Of course, it’s still a Tenement record so the level of songwriting is exceedingly impressive and more than a little indicative of what makes the band one of today’s absolute best.

In a sense (or a few, rather), Tenement‘s actually more attuned to the sensibilities of guitarist/vocalist Amos Pitsch’s Dusk side project. The playing- and feel- from song to song is a lot more loose than Tenement songs tend to wind up being upon their official release and carry on with an easygoing naturalism that renders Tenement an endlessly listenable EP that’s as perfectly suited for open roads as it is a quiet night in. Curiously, all the songs are also titled after a line from the respective choruses or refrains, which is something the band’s generally avoided in the past, which also seems to solidify the fact that this is one of the most direct releases the band’s ever issued. While Pitsch still writes with the flair of a classic Americana novelist, he’s substituted a lot of his more obtuse looks with an emphasis on his lyrics’ more earnest aspects and it suits these songs to perfection. Bassist Jesse Ponkamo and drummer Eric Mayer, as ever, continue to prove their worth as one of today’s most valuable rhythm sections, keeping these songs grounded while still managing to lend them a widescreen appeal, some light menace, a wide-eyed sense of wonder, or an air of gritty determination.

Taken as a whole, Tenement is one of the more unexpected entries in the band’s catalog but it also may be its most quietly rewarding. Favoring understatement over exhilarating moments of power almost exclusively throughout its sub-14 minute run time, Tenement puts a microscope up to one of the band’s more under-utilized modes and results in an unlikely, willing EP that seemed fated to drop off into obscurity just a few short weeks ago. Thankfully, that’s not the case and now anyone who cares has access to “Everyone To Love You”, “Underworld Hotel”, “Witches In A Ritual”, “The Strangest Couple In Love”, and “Roads To Home”. Easily one of the band’s more enigmatic moments, Tenement‘s also one of 2015’s finest releases. Now that it’s finally here, don’t let this one fade into a footnote; turn it up and hit repeat when it’s done.

Listen to Tenement below and pray that it eventually gets repressed in some format. In the meantime, revisit the rest of the band’s unbelievable discography at their bandcamp and watch this site’s own collection of live Tenement videos below the stream.

Meat Wave – Delusion Moon (Music Video)

meatwave

Clean slates are always an intriguing thing to fill and this week’s off to a strong start with great entries into all of the site’s regularly-covered formats. i tried to run away when i was 6’s “June July May“, Craig Finn’s “Maggie, I’ve Been Searching for Our Son“, and Palehound’s “Cushioned Caging” constituted a very strong field of representatives for the single song stream while there were fascinating clips to be found in Gold Class’ “Life As A Gun” and Springtime Carnivore’s “Other Side of the Boundary“. Full streams also found life via the first installment of Apollonian Sound’s charity singles series (featuring Algebra II and site favorites Radiator Hospital), Adult Dude’s fiery Adult Moods, and Los Manglers’ vibrant Between Worlds.

Today’s feature spots casts its lens on Meat Wave, a band that’s played a pivotal role in the development of this site and the music it covers. Their first record, an incredible self-titled effort, was the very first tape I ever wore thin in various spots. The trio was also one of the only bands to secure an On the Up inclusion (an assessment that’s continuing to come to fruition in some genuinely unexpected- and exhilarating- ways) and took part in the first Heartbreaking Bravery showcase. Now, they’ve signed to SideOneDummy and are upping the anticipation for an incredible record entitled Delusion Moon that will be out on September 18.

Meat Wave’s most recent move in the rollout campaign for Delusion Moon came earlier today with the unveiling of the video for the record’s vicious title track. Just as the song drives home a foreboding feeling with no shortage of a venomous menace, the video aims to unsettle in a similar fashion. Utilizing strobes and some inventive film editing, the Andrew Robert Morrisson-directed clip finds value and inspiration in aggressive minimalism, much like the music of its subjects. It’s a deeply disorienting watch, opting for a bold cognitive dissonance that’s presented in a way that feels removed from countless other clips’ meager attempts at producing similar results. Ultimately, “Delusion Moon” is defined by its convictions and the end result is a striking, memorable triumph.

Watch “Delusion Moon” below and pre-order the record from SideOneDummy.